Having recently watched Stephen Fry’s interview on RTE’s ‘The Meaning of Life’, I started to wonder what answers I would give to the questions Gay Byrne asks all of his guests at the end of their interviews. Below is how I expect the final few questions would go:
GB: What was Jesus?
Me: If indeed we can attribute these stories to a single person from that era…
GB: So you doubt his existence?
Me: Of course…
GB: Why?
Me: Because there’s no evidence and the stories are all so absurd.
GB: Absurd?
Me: Magic tricks passed off as miracles by God or a God-like person.
GB: And is there a God?
Me: No, and that’s quite an absurd question.
GB: Why?
Me: Well, first of all, which God are you talking about? Because we are closely connected culturally I understand you to mean the God of Abraham, the one with the beard and the pearly gates and the angels and harps, which sounds more like an acid trip than what we should reasonably expect to occur after we die, but what would a Chinese person think of such a question? Or a Hindu person? Or a Scientologist? Or an Ancient Greek person? Well, they’re quite likely to think that we’re mad and refer us to the one true God, or Gods, which they identify with from their cultural background. Everyone is indoctrinated to think a certain way and think everyone else is mad for thinking otherwise and this shows us perfectly, that in fact everyone is wrong, and all religious people are doing is selling certainty to uncertain people, which is essentially selling people an empty box. They’re just salesmen filling a gap in the market – shysters – whether they know it or were dragged into believing this nonsense when their heads were still soft, and so for that reason it’s hard to blame each individual person. In truth it’s a cycle of mental abuse stemming back to the progenitors of religion, like the way L. Ron Hubbard sold Scientology to people in the mid 20th century. It starts with a shyster salesman, sometimes creating but always filling a gap in the market and so beginning a cycle of mental abuse. It’s the progenitors of religion and the ones who deep down don’t believe but preach it anyway, they’re the people I have a problem with. They, and control freaks like them, seek to profit from distracting us from what’s most important.
GB: Which is?
Me: Everything that can be affected by an act of love, from making love and giving life, to choosing not to kill a person or crush a flower or an insect under your foot. Animals love each other and us to varying degrees and with varying capacities. Perhaps even plants can love, that hasn’t been entirely ruled out at this stage. Apparently, there were scientific studies done where plants grew stronger and lived longer if people stroked their leaves and sang to them. We should spread love far and wide, because in its absence is an indifferent universe which deals creation and destruction in equal measure. It is our capacity to love that sets us apart. But then I must mention the existence of hate. Hate exists in the absence of love, where the perceiver is embittered by its absence and is looking for someone to blame. All you need is love! The Beatles got it right. We shouldn’t allow our world to be run by sociopaths – those with no empathy or capacity for love. This is why we’ve gotten ourselves into such a mess. But it’s a mess that can only be fixed by love.
GB: Now suppose you are wrong and when you die you find yourself at the pearly gates confronted by God. What will you say to him, her or it?
Me: Well, again, this is an absurd scenario!
GB: Humour me.
Me: It’s just not going to happen. It’s just the wishful thinking of people who strive for meaning in a meaningless world.
GB: Well, now, that’s a bit pessimistic!
Me: Verging on Nihilistic, I know, but all the same…here’s the thing; people of a sociopathic tendancy invented this stuff, as I said earlier, to cash in on a gap in the market, which is people’s uncertainty and search for meaning in life, when really, there isn’t any, no objective meaning anyway. But as a sideline, we do subjectively – as individuals – prosper more when we cooperate as a species, so there is certainly value to a simulated objective meaning in life in the form of global cooperation of a Libertarian Socialist tendancy. Now, the people who buy into religion seem to want to live forever in some never-ending afterlife and they want to believe this stuff simply because they’re so scared of dying and becoming nothing.
GB: And isn’t becoming nothing a bad thing?
Me: No, not at all, even if we were to become nothing, which I don’t think is entirely true.
GB: So what do you think happens when we die?
Me: Well, first of all, on immortality in heaven or wherever we are lead to believe this is supposed to take place; say after the equivalent of 300 billion earth years has passed after your death, and you’ve done everything you wanted to do, even stuff you didn’t want to do, but you did it because you had never done it before; whilst sitting on a cloud looking out over heaven, happy that you’ve done all this stuff, content and satisfied in everything you’ve experienced over the last 300 billion years, suddenly, it occurs to you, “now what?! I’ve done everything – most things more than once – and I really don’t care to do any more, but I can’t just sit on this cloud for the rest of eternity. I think I’ll ask God if he can make me not exist anymore.” So you go to God and say. “Listen, thanks for everything, it’s been heaven, but I feel like I’m just filling time now and I was just wondering – well, I’ve actually been wondering this for a few hundred billion years – I was wondering if I could ‘go’ now?” “Go,” booms God, “Go where?” “Er, I guess the best way to put it is, I’d like to cease to exist now, if that’s all right?” “What? Is there something wrong with your heavenly experience that you’d like to share?” “No, like I said, it’s been smashing, but I’d just like to shuffle off this ‘immortal’ coil now, if you don’t mind?” “Well I’m sorry you aren’t entirely satisfied with your heavenly experience…” “Well, it’s not like that exactly…” “But the alternatives are eternal banishment or Hell, so unless you have anything constructive to add, I suggest you go back into Heaven and enjoy yourself. Good day to you!” Now, suddenly, you aren’t in Hell, but you may as well be!
See the problem with an immortal afterlife is there’s no option to no longer exist. You’re stuck existing for all eternity. Who wants that? Why would anybody want to be trapped for all eternity in existence when there will eventually come the time when we desire to cease to exist? You see, the desire to exist is dependent upon having something to exist for – a categorical desire, as phrased by the philosopher Bernard Williams – and when the desire for existence fades away to nothing, we should be allowed to follow suit. For this reason, longevity of life is great, it has instrumental value to live as long as you want to, but crucially, death is nothing to fear in and of itself. The only reason to fear death is if it comes when you still have things you want to do with your life and if you were to die you’d end up missing out on doing the things you would do if you were still alive – the ‘Deprivation View’ of death proposed by the philosopher Kagan. But Bernard Williams also said, “The immortal are not so lucky as to die,” so it appears true that the meaning of life is that life is finite and we may die. Death is therefore our saviour from an unwanted life – blessed oblivion, as they say. So in answer to your question…
GB: You mean, you haven’t answered it yet?
Me: No, sorry, I do tend to procrastinate a little.
GB: I noticed!
Me: I happen to have given all of this quite a lot of thought.
GB: Clearly!
Me: So, when we die – we are beings of energy and light; there’s the organic stuff too, sure, but the fleshy vessel gets left behind. So when we die, the energy that animates this fleshy vessel, flows away and since energy cannot be destroyed, rather, it can only pass from one thing to the next, it leaves this temporarily occupied space and time and returns to the pool of energy from whence it sprang, which exists outside this dimension, in a spaceless, timeless place. The spring of life, some might say.
GB: And could this place not be Heaven?
Me: No, not as we know it.
GB: And why not?
Me: Well, because of all the reasons I laid out earlier, but also because our self – our identity – is confined to the body – specifically, the brain – and we can’t take that with us. Our memories, our senses and our personalities get left behind and our energy – which starts at our conception and is the electrical signals that flow through our body, making our heart beat and our limbs and organs work, etc, only this energy continues on after death. But I do feel – due to the testimony of many on their deathbeds – that when we die and our energy flows back into this pool, it feels ecstatic, like pure unadulterated love, and we know when we get there that we’re home. Make of that what you will, I’m not selling it, it just seems to me to be true.
GB: It sounds a lot like Heaven to me, but we’ll have to leave it there. Thank you very much. (Shakes hands and finish)
Andrew Parker – The Voice of Anarchy